Dear Alex,
My meowmie giffs me treats - but juss sometimes. Dem treats are soooo good - like turkey, tuna and even salmon. BUT she juss giffs me liddle, wee bits AND, even worse, she duz not do it often enuf.How can I gets my meowmie to giff me BIG treats of tuna and turkey meat every, single day?
Purries, Freya

Dear Freya,
I thought long and hard on this and believe I have a solution, humans just love cuteness, although we cats are always cute, think of a special trick to perform for the human, and ONLY do this for them when they give you the treat, even if it is just a simple showing of the belly with an adorable purrrbbbttt sound it will work, the human will be so impressed they will want to see it again and again, and they will certainly show their human friends - which will even get you more, I am going to try this out myself too....MOL
Purrs, Alex

Dear Alex,
I love to be scratched behind the ears. So much that I reach up
and grab the hand and bite it playfully and scratch the arm with
my back legs. My owner pulls away when I do that. Should I not
bite and scratch?
Imp - Los Angeles, CA

Dear Imp,
Humans just don't understand the love bites and love kicks, guess they are just not onto the pain....MOL.....try to resist until you have had enough, then let them have it, that way you get the chin scratches you love and deserve, but you still get in to do the love bite
Alex

Dear Alex,
I crave attention, and always have to demand it. But sometimes
they pet me in a way I don't like, so I growl and swipe at them.
They claim I'm moody. Why can't they figure out the way I want
to be petted?
Mischief - Los Angeles, CA

Dear Mischief,
I know how it is to crave attention, and they never seem to pet me in the right way- or long enough, I even try to show them by petting myself on objects around the house, and they still don't always get it right, I get called moody too & even grouchy....but I am not, try not to growl & hiss tho bud, they really don't like that, try giving them the "limp back" when they pet you wrong - gives the message you don't like it without all the growling and hissing - works out well for me, don't forget tho when they do pet you right to purr like crazy, they eat that up
Alex
 

Dear Alex,
I have really confused and irritated my human when I suddenly began to knead. I am three years old and this is not something I am used to doing. I especially like to wake my human up at night by kneading her. How can I stop.
Maximillian
Michigan

Dear Maximillian,
Don't feel badly, I developed that problem too, my human is not impressed either, I believe we do it because we feel a bond to them after the years, as if they were our Mother now....and we all know how we all kneaded Mom....MOL, anymew the best advise I can give to your human would be to do what mine does when I do it, grab your paws, hold them and say "no", it is quite irritating to me and makes me want to kick the habit more & more
Alex

Dear Alex,
Do toy cats exist? (like toy dogs, ones that remain small)
Tila,
Italy

Dear Tila,
Good question.....I don't believe so, unless you count the cats  they call munchkins, they have normal sized bodies, but very short legs
Alex

Dear Alex-
Hello, my name is Tiffany, and my owners want to place me on a diet. HELP! What is the average weight of a five year old Tuxedo? I am a healthy 15 pounds (that is according to my Vet, but I believe the scale was broken...is that denial?) I have overheard them talking that I need prescription food. YUCK!!! Can't deal....any other alternative? Thanking you in advance for responding to my plea.

Tiffany

Dear Tiffany
Well myself, I think that is a good weight for a pretty Tuxedo babe to be, sometimes humans (and v*ts) can be so cruel, lets put them on the scale and make them eat some diet fude of our choice :)
I myself would refuse to eat the diet fude, forcing them to give in and give me back my fude of choice
Good luck!
Alex

Dear Alex,
why do cats put there butts in the air ?
sabrina3133

Dear sabrina3133,
By raising their butts whether they are male or female cats, what they are saying is "hey, pay attention to this part of my body". They want to get petted in this area if they are addressing a human. In cats that have not been spayed, they are requesting the attention of a male.
So when a cat wants the back part of his body petted, he will raise that part of his body. It is the best way to show humans what we want since actions are the only means of communicating with them
Alex

Dear Alex,
I seem to be having trouble sleeping at night, then end up sleeping all day...any suggestions?
Fluffy -N.Y.

Dear Fluffy,
My guess is you are probably spending too much time starring out the windows at night? if so, don't waste your time...take it from me....they won't let us out till morning anyway, so just go find a nice warm human to cuddle with instead and let them pet you till you pass out for the night, you will wake up alert & ready to enjoy your day only needing the usual cat naps
Alex

Dear Links,
The answer to that is easy, but difficult to accomplish. Stay inside for as long as it takes, but it should only take a day, that other cat will prove you right and you will be pleasantly surprised with all the "good Kitty" "o - my I am sorry" head pats you will receive.
Alex

Dear Alex
I hate the kind of food my human buys...YUK....but I am hungry, how can I get new stuff?
Mr. Furry - Michigan

Dr Mr. Furry,
Well, unfortunately humans just can't increase their intelligence enough to understand cat talk, so you will have to take drastic measures, starving is an unhealthy option, and not recommended, I would suggest eating as much of the yucky food as you can, and surprise your human with throwing it back up for them, preferably on the carpet, you should only have to do this 2-3 times and they will realize that they need to change your diet because the food is not agreeing with your tummy.
Alex